A Long-Distance Relationships can be tough, but they don’t have to be. If you make sure to be attentive to your partner’s needs, and make communication and genuine love your number one priority, a long distance relationship can be a wonderful experience and an exciting adventure.
Long distance relationship can feel like a slow and agonizing feeling which takes place over months or even years (find the SOLUTION below) — a feeling that your heart is slowly being carved out by a butter knife and replaced with Skype calls and open chat windows missed calls, texts messages. In simple, you are always behind a screen craving for human touch. It can feel lonely if some of the major aspects of a relationship are missing. Communication is essentially key in face to face relationships and ones that are long distance. So before even suggesting to do long distance with your partner, make sure that is one thing you guys always do really well with. It can be tough, it can be amazing, it can be sad, it can be happy…it’s a ferris wheel of emotions. So hold on and read some of our tips below that could help you and your partner. Trust us, we have been there! We are preaching to the choir.
31 Best Long Distance Relationship Tips and Advice:
1) Learn to communicate the right way
One of the biggest pitfalls of any relationship is communication, but if you’re in a long-distance relationship this sour point is amplified, and has the potential to trigger an avalanche of unwanted attention, disagreements, and arguments. All of a sudden you’re not just communicating incorrectly, you’re fighting, arguing, and contemplating why you ever chose to be in the relationship at all.
By communicating effectively, listening to your partner’s needs, and making sure your needs are clear, you can completely avoid this dreaded communication pitfall.
2) Think of it as an adventure
Long distance relationships can get boring, and when that boredom leads to lost opportunities to make each other feel loved, a breakup is usually the next step in the process. To prevent that, take a step back and see your relationship for what it is: An unknown escapade, that you’re dying to experience for the first time.
By choosing to look at your long-distance love as an exciting adventure waiting to be had, you not only start to look at your partner with new eyes, but you start to see yourself in a more positive light as well. The health of the relationship depends on the positive associations you make with it, so don’t be shy or reserved about your wild fantasies, or awe-inducing thoughts regarding your relationship.
3) Set hard-and-fast rules, and never break them
One of the most challenging parts of being in a long-distance romance is the lack of traditional relationship rules, and roles. Who pays for dinner? Who pays for plane tickets? How many times a week do you need to call them? When is it OK for them to call you during work?
Those are just a handful of quandaries than can crop up almost immediately after deciding to get into a long distance relationship. The good news is, if you create hard-and-fast rules in the beginning you can plan for these problems, or avoid them altogether.
4) Don’t be afraid to sext, or get digital with your love
The sexual tension that builds in a long distance romance is killer, but if you play your cards right you can completely avoid any undue strain by going digital with your love. Giving in to your carnal desires doesn’t have to be something that only happens when you’re in the presence of your partner, it can be just as frequently and enjoyable when experienced online or through texting.
The next time you’re in the mood and your partner isn’t around, try sending a sexy text, snapping an erotic pic, or hopping on Skype for a video date. When you’re in a long distance relationship, you can’t afford to be shy or reserved about your showcase of love, you have to be more direct, and honest if you want your partner to know exactly how you feel about them.
5) Learn about their interests
Don’t just rely on what you already know about your partner, take the time out to actually learn about what they find fascinating. If you open up to some of their interests, you may find that you’re actually intrigued by one of their hobbies.
By opening up to your lover’s interests, you make them more comfortable with sharing their hobbies with you, and this can lead to increased communication, and comfort for both of you.
6) Listen when you’re on the phone, and don’t interrupt
The most devastating thing someone can do in a long distance relationship is be apathetic, and rude during an important phone discussion. During the times that your partner has something serious to speak about, and you can’t physically be together, make sure to listen and be attentive to their need to be heard.
By taking the time to listen, and affirming their thoughts or worries or concerns, you make it crystal clear that you’re there to support them, and that you’re also there to help them with whatever they’re going through.
7) Let the little things slide
When you’re not able to see your partner every day, the little annoyances can easily add up, and spill over during the next meeting that you have. This is something that can tear down your relationship, but can easily be avoided by simply remembering that you love your partner, and reminding them of all of those reasons. By telling your partner about all the ways you adore them you avoid fights, and arguments, and are able to bring the conversation back to something that’s positive.
8) Be loving in private, and in public
Being in a long distance relationship means forcing a huge part of your life in a virtual closet. To avoid feelings of neglect on your and your lover’s part, it’s best to be mindfully loving in both public, and private. This will let your partner know that you not only care for them, but want the world to know. Choosing to hold their hand in private, or embrace them in public will send the signal that you’re not only proud of your relationship with them, but you’re not afraid of being open with your affection.
9) Defend your partner and the relationship
When your partner isn’t around 24/7 it can be difficult for your friends, and family to give them a fair shake. Often times the biggest stress on a long distance relationship is familial relationships, and trying to explain to key members of someone’s family the importance of your relationship.
To avoid this, defend your partner at all times, and don’t share confidential details about your partnership with anyone outside of your immediate circle of trust.
10) Be open to meeting their friends
Knowing someone means knowing their friends, and getting close to the people that they hold close to their heart. One of the best ways to get closer to a long distance partner is to simply agree to meet up with their friends for coffee, lunch, or even a movie. Doing this will give you a chance to see why your partner enjoys being with these people, and it will also give their friends a chance to get to know you better, and create a bond with you.
11) Learn to compromise
Sometimes the only solution to a relationship problem is to compromise. When things get heated, and you’re not sure how to go about solving a certain issue in your relationship, it’s always best to agree to work on it together. Choosing to compromise, and work together to solve issues within your relationship will be the most difficult, and also the most rewarding part of being in a long distance relationship.
12) Get to know yourself
Not knowing yourself, and what you really want out of life can be detrimental to your relationship. By learning about yourself, and being open to changing, shifting, and growing you only create a stronger relationship. Getting to know yourself can be as easy as picking up a new hobby, or as relaxing as treating yourself to a day at the spa.
13) Avoid temptations
One of the most damaging things you can do to your long distance relationship is to indulge in temptations, that involve anyone other than your partner. To keep your relationship positive and strong, make a decision to not only avoid infidelity and cheat, but also the temptation of those things as well. By staying focused on your partner, and investing the time and energy into loving them consistently, you’ll start to realize that those temptations aren’t worth your time or energy.
14) Love them in a way they can understand
We all have different love languages – some of us give love by giving gifts, while other receive love from being awarded quality time, or words that affirm their partner’s love for them.
To ensure that your long distance relationship doesn’t fizzle out, be sure to pay close attention to how your partner receives love, and how you naturally give love. There may have to be a natural compromise if your way of showing love or affection isn’t necessarily how they’d prefer to be loved.
At the end of the day, you have to be mindful of your partner’s preferences, and make sure that your own preferences are clearly stated, and that you both are being loved in a way that’s affirming, and caring.
15) Pick up an interesting hobby together
After being in a long distance relationship for awhile things can get stale, so to prevent that from happening try to pick up a hobby with your partner. It should be something that you’re both interested in pursuing, and something that will require you both to work together towards a common goal.
16) Visit each other more often
It’s absolutely crucial that you plan to meet your long distance partner as much as you can. It may be hard to work around your schedule, and you may need to even create a relationship calendar of sorts, but it’ll all be worth the stress when you can finally start to see them regularly.
17) Budget correctly
A big part of long distance relationships is the couple’s budgeting skills. It takes time, and money to be in a successful long distance relationship, and this can and will cause you to be stressed, and anxious about everything from plane tickets, to cab fare.
In order to avoid a lot of the money pitfalls that stress many couples sit down with your partner, and talk about money, budgeting, and reasonably how much money you need to have the relationship that you want (rather than the relationship that you can afford).
18) Be egalitarian
Don’t just budget correctly, budget fairly. A big part of the reason many long distance relationships work is their egalitarian nature. Very often the money, and time needed to plan dates and trips far exceeds that of one person, and to make the relationship work there needs to be two equal partners giving 100% of their time and energy.
The best thing for your relationship is to continue this trend of fairness, and take on as much or as little responsibility that your partner needs you to.
19) Never feel guilty for wanting alone time
If you make a conscious choice to enter into a long distance, you’re going to get more than enough free time. But sometimes the free time that you get when you’re actually with your partner isn’t enough, and you need time to think, and breathe. If you run into this problem, and find yourself needing more time to yourself in the presence of your partner, don’t feel guilty. Instead, let them know that you need some time to think, and make it clear that it’s not them, and they’ve done nothing wrong.
20) Make honestly your number one priority
Choosing to be honest feels like a natural occurrence, but in a long distance relationship it isn’t always so clear. Sometimes little white lies can get in the way of honesty, and make it impossible to really communicate effectively with your partner. To nurture honesty in your relationship, you have to be willing to first be honest with yourself, and your own needs within the relationship. If you can be honest about your need and your intentions, it will make it easier for your partner to be honest about what they desire as well.
21) Be mindful of their schedule and your own
Planning dates, trips, and vacations can be a huge deal in long distance relationships, but it doesn’t have to be such a big deal if you pay attention to and respect your partner’s schedule and your own. If you have already made plans for a proposed meet up date with your partner, you have to be willing to let them down easy, and stay true to yourself, and whatever you have going on in your life right now.
22) Don’t follow them on social media
There are many pitfalls associated with following, or stalking your long distance relationship partner on social networks, and this is why this behavior should be avoided if you want a positive relationship. If you’re always following up behind what your partner does online, and comparing it to the time they spend with you, you may start to feel resentful, that’s not good for anyone.
To avoid any jealousy that could come up, make a choice to completely avoid your partner’s social media handles.
23) Mail them gifts on holidays
One of the most joyful experiences in any long distance relationship is getting snail mail. There’s something about ripping open a package prepared by a loved one that delights, and excites people. To show your love during the next Valentine’s day, or even your partner’s birthday, send them something in the mail, rather than a digital gift.
24) Make sure you have at least 3 ways to communicate
Communication is hard enough in long distance relationship without technology failures. To make sure that you always have access to your partner, be sure to have at least 3 ways to connect with them at all times. For most people, this would include texting, phone calls, Skype, or even email. Having go-to ways of speaking with your partner will allow you to avoid unfortunate communication mix-ups.
25) Be a cheerleader for your relationship
Rooting for your relationship may be the single most positive thing that you can do to secure the fate of your romantic partnership. Being upbeat, happy, and a real cheerleader for your virtual romance can do wonders for morale, especially during the times in which you and your partner can’t see each other for some reason.
26) Don’t yell, or scream, or argue
One of the biggest relationship-killers is yelling, arguing, and screaming at your partner, and the intensity is only made stronger when you’re in a long distance relationship. When you and your partner aren’t on good terms, try to make a rule of not jumping to conclusions, or pointing the finger at them. Instead, give your partner the benefit of the doubt, and ask that they do the same for you anytime there is a disagreement.
27) Don’t be shy in the bedroom
The biggest asset you have in your long distance relationship is your physical connection. You may not always be able to see, speak or be intimate with each other, so when you do finally have that experience, make it worth your time, and don’t shy away from opening up to your partner in the bedroom.
28) Play together
Whether it’s wrestling on your bed, or making pillow forts on the floor, it’s best to be playful, and have fun when you’re in your partner’s presence. In a long distance relationship it will inevitably be difficult to see each other regularly, so make sure that the time you spend together is equal parts fun, and romantic.
29) Give each other pet names
Things don’t always have to be so serious in a long distance relationship – they can be fun too! By giving your partner a pet name, and allowing them to give you one, you’re not only lightening the mood, you’re setting a standard for your partnership, and making it known that enjoying yourselves, and making time for each other is of the highest priority.
30) Don’t be afraid to skype in, when you feel lonely
Being in a long distance relationship can get lonely, but things don’t have to be so bleak. With the technology that we have available now, it’s easier than ever to press a button and instantly be connected with your partner, and met with their smiling face. Anytime that you feel you may be getting lonely, or stressed, or experiencing anxiety, it’s best to give your partner a call. You’re not only alerting them of your mood, but you’re also giving them a chance to really be there for you, and support you during the times that the distance part of the relationship is taking a toll on your emotions.
31) Learn together
Long distance relationships can get redundant, and a great way to prevent this from affecting your partnership is to learn together. By learning with your partner, you learn more about them, and also the relationship. You get to see how they reason, and get a better view of their intellect, and they get to experience the same thing. Learning together as a couple strengthens your relationship, and gives both parties a clear view of the other’s strengths and weaknesses.
Heart Grows Fonder
When in a long distance relationship as mentioned there are many key things but we believe that communication is essentially key. However, communication should happen organically and unconditionally. There should not be a rule that you have X amount of calls in a day or night. That gives you something to fight over if one is even missed. This can create jealousy. It is really important to remain open and calm when you are in a long distance relationship. It is also important to make sure that the distance is temporary. A long distance relationship cannot survive without hope.
Trust is important. There are going to be times where you feel like you have no control and you are completely uncomfortable and sad that you are not there and have a serious fear of missing out. What is important is if your significant other comes back, calls you that night or the next day and just fills you in. Events of the day, night and you need to be the listener they are looking for and vice versa. Trust is established when there is no anger or animosity. When situations are explained, days are spoken about, life challenges are expressed. Just talk to each other. Everything will feel natural and fall into place if it is meant to be.
Lastly, it is really important not to force something that isn’t working. Distance prevents this constricted intimacy from ever forming in a meaningful way. When we are apart it’s too easy to idealize and romanticize each other. It is also very easy to overlook the mundane, yet important differences. We all do this. It gets easy to get caught up in the drama of our minds instead of the calm and boring truths of our hearts. So look into yourself and your relationship and make sure this is something you talk about with each other. Set goals, set deadlines. Work together towards happiness for yourselves and each other. Don’t be selfish, that will only hurt you both in the end.
You’re in a wonderful relationship.
You have so much in common. And you can’t wait to be with each other next. The thing is, every long-distance relationship has very similar challenges. So it’s not the challenges that create the problems—it’s how each person reacts to the challenges.
Human beings are complex, and we don’t come with instruction manuals. So one of the most important things you can do is realize that you don’t have to “figure it out” on your own. If you want your relationship to succeed, it’s crucial that you find an expert source of information… and use it.
You don’t need a psychology degree, and you don’t need years of therapy, and you don’t need to spend thousands of dollars. All you need to know is where to start.
That’s where we can help you. Right now.
Because until now, no one put together complete information to help improve and save your long-distance relationship. This was one of my biggest frustrations… there just wasn’t a comprehensive guide for addressing all of the problems you face.
Well, fortunately, that problem is in the PAST…
Because also you, can strengthen your relationship (No matter what “condition” it’s in right now).