Ever wonder the best way to flirt with that cute gal that just caught your eye? Gone are the days of sigh-worthy one liners, cheesy pickup lines, and an offer to buy drinks. You have to have more to give today and while good looks help, there is much more that goes into being successful with flirting. We have researched and gathered the best advice and tips out there to teach you how to flirt with a girl you like.
Tips on How to Flirt with a Girl
Here are our 21 helpful and practical tips for flirting with girls and women:
1. Give a unique comment about her features
Every beautiful woman has heard the lines that her hair shines like gold, her eyes look like stars or her lips are as soft as velvet. Tell her something special and unique that actually requires you to think about her and really look at her. Be creative, make a comparison to a fine work of art to show her you are really looking at her and noticing the best features about her.
2. Give flirting enticing glances
Also commonly called an “eye smile,” a provocative and teasing glance is much more than a typical stare. It is a non-verbal cue that catches her interest and lets her know you are taking notice of her. It can take the place of a thousand pickup lines and will usually yield even better results. But take care to practice the look so it does not come across as a stare or glare which would be a major turn off.
3. Pick unique physical features and body parts to comment on
Instead of talking about her eyes or lips, catch her off guard and point out something special about her skin, her freckles, her fingers, or other parts of her that might not be something usually talked about. If you are going to talk about her clothes, talk about the entire outfit rather than one part of it and make sure you tie it back to how she looks, not how the clothes look.
4. Be deliberate with what you remember and talk about later
Take a mental note of everything you possibly can. Her clothes, her jewelry, her shoes, the perfume she is wearing and bring them up in the conversation later on. She’ll be so touched that you went through the trouble to remember and comment on it that she’s bound to feel exceptional and take to you faster.
5. Don’t push the phone number exchange
Not all women are comfortable handing out their phone number, even if they do like the guy after the first meeting. Let her be the one to offer the number. Mention that you wouldn’t mind talking to her again or giving her a call and then leave it there and wait for her to make the next move. It gives her some power and also keeps you from coming across as desperate or overbearing.
6. Flatter her with your interests and your well-roundedness
Don’t be the guy who only talks about himself or who can only hold conversations about video games, comics, or sports. Make sure you can talk on a number of topics and try to study up on a few culture or art topics so you can bring them up while you are flirting- brains are sexy!
7. Have a few original jokes that are in good taste ready to use
Humor is good as long as it is harmless and the jokes are tasteful and can be universally appreciated. Getting a few chuckles and laughs will help you both relax and open up; there is also a better chance you’ll develop a friendship and possible romantic interests faster.
8. Do not make it all about sex when you flirt
You don’t want her to get the idea that you’re only interested in sex and that you are cozying up to her just to try and get her in bed. Sit back and take it slow- get to know her as a person. She needs to be more than another name in a date list. If sex does come up, make sure she’s the one who initiated it.
9. Get her to talk about herself and her interests
She may want to now about you but you also need to show interest in her. Get her talking about her interests like vacations or shopping or some of her hobbies or favorite music and books and movies. The logic is quite simple: you allow her to be in control of the conversation and also show that you are focusing your time and attention on her and her alone.
10. Let her know that she’s one of a kind and truly remarkable
Do this for any gal and you’ll forever be on her good side and in her good graces. Tell her she is beautiful, tell her she looks amazing, tell her she smells wonderful with the new perfume, tell her she is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen. To make this really work though, don’t get distracted by looking around or turning away from her every time someone new walks into the room. Making her feel special means totally ignoring everyone else around you.
11. Touch her and be close to her
This applies to most situations, especially in public because is shows you are not ashamed to be seen with her. Try to touch her accidentally and keep it brief and soft and fleeting. Reach for something at the same time so your hands touch, or gently reach up and brush her hair behind her ears. Watch her reaction and go from there.
12. Be confident and calm when flirting with a girl
If you want to be truly successful when you flirt you will need to be confident. You cannot flirt without confidence because otherwise it comes out as being petty, desperate, or just odd. If you are the shy guy it may be hard but you cannot be shy when you are flirting with the girls- most don’t go for the timid and shy guys much anymore. Use some confidence building exercises then go for it and woo her.
13. Mimic their movements
Also called mirroring, this is when you copy or imitate your date’s movements is a clever trick. It works because it conveys to the girl that you two are on the same wavelength and makes it easier for her to relax and feel comfortable around you. So if your date takes a drink, you take a drink and if she fiddles with her fingers while she talks you do the same. Remember, imitation is the highest form of flattery!
14. Talk with your hands and keep them visible
One of the main goals you want to achieve with your flirting is to advertise your friendly intentions. Keeping your hands visible harkens back to olden times as a sign of peace- no weapons were held so it was ok to trust the individual. Hand gestures help communicate a relaxed and engaging attitude which is good for proper flirting.
15. Test the personal bubble carefully
Most people are aware that there is an invisible bubble that surrounds individuals. The eighteen inches around someone’s body is typically regarded as their “intimate space”—a no-go zone for strangers. As you get to know your gal more start pushing into that boundary a little. Lean in closer to squeeze by or reach over to grab something near them and see how they react. If she likes you, she generally will lean in closer to stay near you once you back off.
16. Take smaller calculated risks
Instead of putting it all on the outcome of one bigger risk- like asking your gal to your place for a party right off the bat- go for a smaller more calculated risk- such as asking your gal to dance with you or meet you for an art show in town. Don’t let everything ride on her response to one big idea or risk you decide to take.
17. Be careful with the alcohol
This should be a common sense one but it has to be mentioned because far too many guys forget it. Do not go crazy with the drinks – for you or your gal. Keep it clean, real, and honest and don’t let the alcohol start talking for either of you. It can loosen you up but it can also make you too comfortable and loose in the tongue.
18. Save major flirting for face to face encounters
Technology is part of our lives and many couples are finding each other online, so it is impossible to say that there should be no flirting on social media, emails, websites, or on the cell phone. But it needs to be kept in check and kept light and minor and playful. Save the real flirting for the face to face moments you are together so you can react to each other and capitalize on the moments. Special note here about sexting- don’t do it! If things go poorly or you piss her off, remember anything and everything you have ever sent to her can, and likely will, be used against you to try and ruin your life- don’t take the risk!
19. Show her you are self-assured and in control
Most women like to see a man who is not afraid and who is sure of himself, his plans, his goals, and his actions. You need to present yourself with a certain air of confidence and assurance. The trick for keeping it subtle is not to overdo the gestures and the best way to learn is to practice with someone else before you meet your girl.
20. Don’t push too soon too hard or too fast
Whether it is phone numbers, the next date, sex, or anything really, do not push and do not come on too strong. Be patient and enjoy the moment you have in front of you right now and focus on her and you being together doing whatever you are doing. Do not let thoughts and dreams of what next week or next month may look like for you- take it slow and do not push too hard too fast.
21. Be yourself
The most important tip of all is the one to remember at all times. Do not lie or puff yourself up too much. Remember if she falls for a fake version of you it will be all the more painful when she finds out the truth and you both end up with broken hearts and hurt feelings. Be yourself- if she won’t like you or accept you as you are, then she is not the one and not worth your time.
Flirting is a game that has changed greatly in the past 20-30 years. You have to have more to offer the ladies today to be successful at flirting. Good looks are not enough anymore and there is much more that goes into being successful with flirting. The ladies are no swayed by cheap pick up lines and free drinks, the want a man who will engage with them- and you need to be able to do this right from the start. So with these tips on how to flirt with a girl, you will be better prepared to have a fun and successful time flirting with your gal.